In Jesus

I have been working through some things this week.  I'll spare you all the details, lets just say lotta crying going on.  I talked to a prophetic friend and one of the things she said was that she saw me in front of the throne wrapped in an indian blanket.  As soon as she said it I was there.  If you haven't been keeping up with me, I translate to heaven now and then.  It was a big deal because I had been crying out, feeling like there was no comforter, no cover, and boom, I'm there and seeing it. Momentary and I'm back in the conversation.

Last night I decided to go back there and get some resolution.  Engaging the process of going to heaven happens through the sanctified imagination.  God can do His sovereign thing and get you there,  my first time was a surprise, but we can also go boldly before the Throne of Grace.  You've already been invited.  For me, I have to start off with something I can visualize, for instance picking up where I was last time.  Starting is usually a little rough, but eventually the daydream takes on a life of its own and when you get surprised, that's when you know you're not making it up.

So I'm back, with my blanket on and I stand up.  I held the corners of my blanket in each hand and stretched out my arms and asked Him to burn up all the junk.  I've gotten over my issues with the consuming fire, I was ready for something to change here, drastic times you know.  He didn't take me up on that offer.

I did get to go sit with Jesus though, well, I thought "with", but as it turned out, "in."  That's how the scripture goes right?  Seated in heavenly places IN Christ Jesus?  I never knew how that worked before.  You just sit down and merge. I was sitting like you would sit on someone's lap, expect instead of on top, I just assimilated in.  And that was new, so I spent some time moving in and out of Jesus, cause it was weird, and cool.  Lean back, I'm in, lean forward, I'm out. In... Out... In... You can totally be a little kid in heaven.  In fact, it's kinda mandatory. (Matt 18:3)  I was focusing on what it felt like when I was in vs out.  Got done playing and settled in and stayed because I could feel stuff coming off of me when I was in.  "This must be what He meant with all that 'resting' and 'abiding' stuff." 

His hands were still his hands and my hands were still my hands, and I was checking out his hands.  They are kinda thin flat guy hands.  Nice hands, but just hands.  The scars are up at the wrists.  Then he took hold of my hand and put it up over his heart, which was my heart too and then I realized they were merged.  Wow. Really?  One heartbeat.  Whoa.  Pause for cry session.  I decide that is a good place to leave spirit me parked while I run around and do stuff down here.  I know you guys are all saying "Duh", but yeah, I really didn't get it before.  Its just words on a page until it becomes my experience. 

I'm in the middle of writing a book and have so far had a lot to say about the heart, beliefs of the heart etc.  I'm still processing the depth of my experience.  And at the moment, I can't process anything, so I'm simply going to hit "publish" and go get some rest. 

No Trace Left

After the banana cream parfait thing, and getting the generational stuff cleaned out, I started having bathroom dreams. I knew something more was coming out, but the grand finale was a short but violent "throwing up with diarrhea" dream that jolted me awake with an "Oh that's not going to be fun" response. Dreams with any kind of bathroom action in them whether it's showering, the bath, toilet, washing hands, it's all cleansing and getting rid of what shouldn't be there.

 Old issues started surfacing next. I became very aware that they were driving my behavior, and that I was not living healthy today because of what happened yesterday. One dream I had was nothing more than a review of my day, watching from a third person perspective. I watched something happen and how I overreacted to a small annoyance and then was taken back to what happened when I was younger that created a wound that caused my overreaction that day and many other days.

So this cause and present day effect went on for a couple weeks, and yeah, it was not fun.  I was crying everyday, at  inappropriate places and times like all day at work.  All this stuff was coming up and being relived and fresh and raw and open.  I had thought from the dream it would be more like ripping off a bandaid than picking at scabs.

What worked, was by a stroke of perfect timing, I got Jim Richard's "Change Your Heart, Change Your World" cd's in the mail.  I get a surprise goodie box once a month also, with the expectation that I will share all this stuff with others via our Friday night "Holy Spirit" meetings.  Everything came in the mail at once, maybe I had to feel good and terrible to be motivated to go through these resources.  I kept ripping open packages and going "Yay!  I need this!"  I'm still working through the books "Unbound" and "Finally Free", but I started listening to the cd's and knew that they were jiving perfectly with the way things were being revealed.  I actually went through these with family and it was helpful to talk about things that happened.  My perspective of what happened was not necessarily accurate.  Just one more way that the  truth can set you free.

So Jim is on Sid Roth now, so I don't have to explain how all this works.  Watch the video. Dr. Jim Richards - Sid Roth - It's Supernatural.  Here's a link to the prayer that is the crux of the whole thing.  Basically, whenever you have a negative emotion come up, you stop then and there (that means you keep it with you) and you go through it.  You do need to be very intentional about  every word you say, or it becomes just another religious exercise.  I added some things to it, it's fully customizable :)

After about two days of staying on this, and stopping numerous times a day to pull out the prayer, I was feeling pretty good.  My back and neck pain had left and I've known for years that there's no point in going to the chiropractor until I get my relationships sorted out.  And I was having less and less issues come up.  A day with no anger, no hurt, no insecurity.  It happened.

All the previous dreaming and crying had taken a tole though and I was worn out.  I came home from work, flopped down on my bed still in uniform and promptly went into visions.  The one that I remember was Jesus coming and and picking me up and carrying me into a raging fire.  First I was happy about it.  Then I thought, "This is probably gonna suck, but I trust Him."  I had the third person perspective again, watching from the bed as I saw my hair catch fire and then I disappeared into the flames.  Hair in dreams can represent our attitudes and mindsets.  Then I remembered what I added to that prayer.  "I ask you to come Lord, All Consuming Fire, and burn away any residue, any seeds, implantations or any fruit, that there would be no trace left of this feeling in my life.

Lovers vs Workers

Most Christians will tell you they believe in salvation by grace and not works, but their actions say otherwise. And maybe they really do believe they're going to heaven based on a decision alone, but so many are running around trying awfully hard to make their Daddy happy.

It's easy to tell a lover from a worker. Workers are not the happiest bunch, and there's a sense of duty around everything they do. Their motive is to please God. They operate out of their own strength - which is just flesh - and they expect something back. Either acknowledgment from those they help, or for God to move on their behalf, crown in heaven, they've got something in mind, even if they won't admit it. A lot of it is "Hey Father, look what I did!" I don't mean to imply that workers don't love, but it's not the primary motivation, and they are not resting securely in their Father's love.

Lovers place a high value on obedience to God, but they don't act out of duty. They are compelled by Love. Through resting in that Love, they change things everywhere they go through little effort of their own. Their working comes out of union with God. Love is like a tangible thrust that fills their sails and propels them into action with a happy ambition. Lovers will out work the workers any day of the week.

Lately when Jesus has been showing up (yes I see Him) it's been to talk to me about rest and remind me that I'm starting to operate from my own strength, which is just flesh and we know that's weak right? He's trying to save me from a life of prostitution. Because if you're a worker instead of a lover... Yeah.

If you're tired, you're worn out, you're frazzled and grumpy, then you've been working. The cure is always the same. Jesus. I'm not real big on the Message bible, but I do like the way Matt 11:28-30 is in there. "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

So we gotta remember that we are the branch connected to the vine. (John 1:1-17) Our primary purpose is to "abide". Just as the sap flows from the vine into the branch, we also are tapped into that continual infilling of the Spirit, which enables us to produce fruit and continue to grow. There is nothing required on our part beyond just staying connected. The fruit just happens. Now, you can be in a dormant season, so if you don't see fruit, don't panic and try to squeeze some out through your own effort. Stay connected to the vine. If there's areas of your life not producing fruit, God'll take care of it. Just rest in His unconditional love.

Walking and Hanging Out On Limbs (Me mixing metaphors again)

I was walking down the street today feeling fairly humiliated via my own doing and I did a quick Facebook mobile post: "Someday I'm going to grow up." What I actually meant was "Someday, I'm going to mature in my Christian walk and stop embarrassing myself continually." You see, the problem with doing what I'm doing, is that all the fruit is out on the limb. I'm spending an inordinate amount of time looking like a monkey, and constantly falling out of the tree.

So yeah, walking down the street, thinking that I'm done putting myself out there, at least until I get over this most recent boo boo, when I turn up the next street and I see my guy that I prayed for get up out of his wheelchair and walk out to the corner to meet me. And then I thought, "Yep, pretty much worth it." So what if I mess up and fall on my face some more. My ego takes a hit, but that's probably a good thing. I'm stumbling but he's walking.

So he yells out from up the street, "Hello honey, how are you?" I said "I'm good how are YOU?" "Reeeeeeeal good, how far do you walk every day?" I told him eight miles. "Eight miles! I'd be happy if I could walk one mile, but I got this far!" And his wife was out too and I'd never talked to her before, but she was wanting to pray together so we stood out on the corner and prayed, then she told me all about how he was doing. He's in progress.

I'm in progress too, I'm gonna keep on truckin. God's cool with the process. Parents watching their children learn to walk don't get upset every time the kid falls down. God's not up there going "Stupid kid's never gonna get it. She should just stop trying. What a moron." That'd be ludicrous. No, He's smiling and holding out a steady hand and picking me back up when I'm down by showing me something that went right. The proud Papa.

When I left my guy, he announced "I'm gonna walk up there! And then I'm coming right back here! (Pointing to the next street - how many times have I heard little kids say that!) "Good plan. Don't overdo it." I said. Afterwards I walked up on a group talking about me. "Seneca? She's out there." I walked up behind the person and said "Yeah, I am out there." I'm finding my next limb.

Let My Love Open the Door

Last night I fell asleep talking to God about various different problems of the week. When I woke up, He was singing me this song, which addresses everything. I will never listen to this the same way again. He is so wonderful. I just love Him so much...



Lyrics | Pete Townsend - Let My Love Open the Door lyrics


"When everybody keeps retreating, but you can't seem to get enough" That's me :)
For a better explanation of how to get songs from God... He Rejoices Over Us With Singing

Fulfilling the Love Command

I have a friend who's a pretty good cook.  He feeds me lunch most days because I live a long way from where I work and if I didn't eat lunch with him I'd be sitting in my truck eating PB&J.  No, it wouldn't be that dire, but it wouldn't be BBQ chicken with beans, coleslaw and homemade bread.  Sometimes it's the only decent meal I get.  And it's not just me.  He cooks in quantity and invites other people that need some decent food and company or takes food next door, last weekend he was helping with a benefit dinner for someone with cancer.  He spends months away at hunting camp where he is the official camp cook and I think people involve him for that reason.  I hired him to do some construction work for us and he'd have dinner going by the time we got home from work.  It's just his thing.

Last week over lunch we were discussing what it takes to love people, (it takes God's love coming through you, you can't summon it up on your own very well) and he's feeling bad because he's kind of anti-social and doesn't really get out there and meet people and talk to them.  Not exactly spreading the love ya know?  This has actually been an ongoing conversation and it keeps circling back around to him feeling guilty.  But this time when I left, the mail came and he got his order from Penzey's Spices.  He was unpacking the box while still mulling over our conversation and wondering what he was supposed to be doing, when he found this:

Is that not the coolest thing you've ever seen?  You mean it's that easy?  We've been drilled into believing that serving God is toil and drudgery and sacrifice and you just gotta suck it up but that's not what Jesus said.  (Matt 11:28, John 15:4-6)  So he's on the right track.  He's found his ministry.  By feeding people he can actually feed people.

Maybe he is called to the wilderness, like John the Baptist.  (I wonder how Gary would fix locusts and wild honey?)  Not many people would be willing to make that their mission field, but there's no place he'd rather be.  And let's face it.  It's a lot easier to love someone who's appreciating your culinary genius than it is to love someone who's giving you attitude because you're doing the door to door thing and you just invaded their life.

One thing I've been learning, is that being about your Father's business is not hard.  If it is, then you're doing it wrong or doing something you shouldn't.  I'm not saying you don't have challenges and trials, but there's something to doing what comes naturally, what you're graced to do and that you have joy in doing - it's not work. Adam labored, he didn't toil.

The other thing I'm learning, it that if you get your first New Testament commandment (And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. Mark 12:30) firmly in place in your life, everything else is automatic.  John Crowder said in his book The Ecstacy of Loving God, said "The Christian life is really not that complicated.  If we can get the love part right, everything else will fall into place.  St Augustine said "Love God and do whatever."  Unfortunately our striving little souls even try to make a dead work out of loving God.  Have you ever heard a grumpy old preacher tell you that "Love is not a feeling," and to do good things even when you don't feel like it?  Sounds like stoicism to me.  Many teach that after we have believed in Christ, we should do many things.  But this is not true.  According to the Scriptures, after we believe in Christ and receive His Spirit, we have to love Him.  Perhaps the apostle Paul put it best in 1 Corinthians 16:14  Do everything in love."

And even loving Him is something you don't tackle on your own.  We love Him because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19)  You have to let Him love you first.  You have to receive of His goodness and see Him as a perfect Father who only wants good things for you.  When you get that revelation, it's easy to love Him back, but your ability to give love is always going to be to the degree that you are able to receive love.  You can't give what you haven't got, make sense? 

So if you're having a problem walking in love, then you need to get with God and ask Him to pour His love out on you.  Ask Him for help with your hangups.  When it comes to hangups, our parents can mess us up.  Even good parents.  We tend to view our Heavenly Father through the lens of our earthly father, so it's self-explanatory if you had a lousy dad, but if you had a father who loved you but was reserved even, about expressing it, you're going to have to get past that.  And if you were such a wild child that your parents were so busy disciplining you that there was not much time left in the day for positive interaction, you might view God as harsh and waiting for you to screw up.  You need to ask Him to help you see Him for who He is.

My own Dad was good at fixing stuff and I always had something broken, but I got the idea that I was bothering him when he was busy, so I either learned to live with the broken stuff or I would go to Mom, who would convince Dad and it would get fixed.  For years that was my relationship with God.  Put up with brokenness, or get somebody else to pray because He doesn't pay attention to me.  Thank God I got past that.  I can receive, therefore I have something to give.  Wow, that went off on a tangent!  Anyway, take it easy on yourself.  You're probably doing better than you think.

The Wild Man

Today is the anniversary of the first time I saw Jesus.  This all started because two of my friends saw Him, and if they could see Him, then so could I (and therefore so can you).  I started letting Him know that I wanted to see Him, making myself available on a daily basis, and trying to see.  It wasn't working out so well.  I knew that it should be simple and that I was getting in my own way, but I didn't know how to try, but not try too hard.  I had been not trying for years and that hadn't got me anywhere.  Eventually my pestering and trying was starting to work.  I could see His form, or maybe His feet.  That was progress and no less His presence, but I kept on pushing for more.  Then I finally saw Him on the mountain.

First we need to back up as to what I was doing on the mountain.  Our town is situated around a mountain.  Town curves around the base and is bordered by two rivers.  It's geographically interesting. 

Anyway, several of us were having dreams and visions regarding this mountain, but we didn't quite have all the pieces together.  Then I woke up in the middle of the night and God spoke a very strange statement about Mt. Sinai.  I didn't understand so I said "What?"  He repeated Himself verbatim with no further explanation.  I heard but I didn't understand.  I wrote it down and went back to sleep.  Dropped it off at Mom's on the way to work, she didn't get it either.  She passed it to a friend who prayed and worked on it a couple hours.  He got a well-timed phone call from a guy he met at Bethel who said he had Googled Kooskia and that we have our own Mt Sinai.  "Ohhhhhhh!"

We had a meeting and decided maybe we oughta get up there and see what happens.  Three of us decide we're going up and we coordinated a time.  The day came and my friend had driven in from a town a few hours away to do the trek, and on her way in to town she noticed the sign "Welcome to Kooskia, Gateway to the Wilderness."  That didn't go over well with us as we did not want to get down from Mt Sinai and then go wander in the wilderness.  We got some bad advice as to how to best get up there, but we made it and we sat down on our trash bags in the wet grass and ate our lunch.

We had decided beforehand that we were going to pray over the town up there.  (We hadn't learned to just sit and wait, we had to be doing stuff.)  So we were praying for about an hour in tag team fashion when my friend hears that we're supposed to shut up and just receive.  Now I was having a tough time tuning in with other people around even more than I do now, so I was doing my best to block everything out, which for some reason entailed me having my hands over my eyes.  So I'm sitting on the ground and trying to hear, but instead I saw. 

I saw a form come around from behind us, (still have my hands over my eyes) and He stopped in front of me.  I knew exactly who it was and I didn't move a muscle.  I didn't want to screw anything up.  He crouched down in front of me, pryed my fingers away from my face and peered in at me.  Then I saw clearly.  All rational thinking ceased, I rocked forward and hugged Him.  Then I pulled back and just looked at Him some more.  It was Spirit to spirit communication, not even putting thoughts into words, just flowing understanding.  As long as I looked in His eyes, understanding could pass easily into me.  His eyes are not what you would think. They're amazing.  I'm not going to say too much because I want you to see for yourself and not think that I put something in your head.  I'll just say that He doesn't look like the pictures.  That was the day I fell totally totally in love with Him.  Not love in theory, or love out of obligation or love because of what I believe he did.  Love at first sight.

I noticed that in this setting He was very thin and looking a bit unkempt.  I had the impression that He had been up there fasting and interceding.  He was very happy we had came and it was like a burden had been lifted from Him.

I think everybody has their ideas about what they want to say to Jesus in a face to face, well don't bother because all that goes out the window in the moment.  I started communicating with words again because that's more familiar to me, not out loud, but forming words in my mind, like how you pray silently by "thinking at God."  I said "You look like a wild man."  He threw His head back and laughed "I am a wild man!  Wasn't that a wild party we had last night?"  He was referring to a particularly memorable meeting at Mom's the night before.

Afterwards I was kinda crying and my fellow hikers were looking at me and I knew if I kept it up I was going to have to explain.  Even though I was with safe people, I didn't tell anybody for awhile because I wanted to square away what just happened in my own mind before other people's opinions started complicating things.

Once I opened up to a couple people, they made me tell everybody.  It was brutal.  It seemed sort of heretical even, to see Jesus in that way.   Once I was prodded into telling a man that I had literally just shaken hands with twenty seconds before and didn't know at all, other than I had heard a lot about him and knew He was a prophet which made me all the more uncomfortable.  I really did not want to be put on the spot like that, I had come to hear him talk, not the other way around. But I sucked it up and got lost in the memory again.  He smiled at me with the second kindest eyes I have ever seen and said "You know that's scriptural right?  After Jesus' resurrection He appeared differently to several people."  Oh yeah!  So his reassurance really allowed me to own this vision and feel confident, and for weeks afterward all I could do is walk around thinking about how much He loves me and how much I love Him.  And now I can talk about it.  I'm not worried about what people think.  Most of them think it's really cool.  Some say I'm really blessed to have an experience like that.  I say it's for everybody.  The bible says if you seek Him with all your heart you will find Him, and the last couple years I've been finding out just how literally I can take the bible.

"He's Really Really Nice"

I am on vacation, we flew away on Sunday.  I actually find planes relaxing.  I feel really safe and comfortable on a plane, but there's not a lot to do up there.  I had 3 books, a magazine and an ipod but I opted to just sit and listen to God.  Not praying, not asking questions, just opening up my spirit.  There are definitely times when this is easier than others and that was an easy time.  What I got was all love, no heavy revvies, just all about how much He loves me.

So that mademe cry, and in the beginning, nobody was paying any attention to me other than some flight attendandants may have noticed.  I chose to not worry about other people and just stay in that place of receptivity.  However, I was in an aisle seat at the back of the plane where the line for the bathroom forms and then there were all these people with nothing to do for the next 2-3 minutes but check me out.  Mike (my husband was getting uncomfortable because he thinks some of them are giving him accusing looks.  I gotta get it together. 

Then after the plane ride, I got persistant questions so Mike attempts to help explain. 
"She's really really religious."  Oooo, don't ever call me that!  Religion is rituals and traditions and rules and man's idea of how to get to God.  It actually takes you further away from God because religion says that if you do the stuff, then youre good with God.  It completely diminishes the relationship aspect which is everything.  Jesus was so unreligious. 

So I'm setting him straight when another voice chimes in to help me.  "She's spiritual!"  Yes, I'm spiritual, not religious.  I'm a walking cliche, I know. 

Then I tried to simply explain that I was just listening to God and "He's really really nice." 
"Oh, so you were scared of flying?"
"No, I wasn't praying.  I was listening." 
Foreign concept.  They still think I'm the one doing all the talking.  One says to the other; "Don't you ever talk to God?  I talk to Him all the time."  The other said, "I talked to Him the other night when the cops were after me."  I smiled and said "Yes, but do you ever let Him get a word in edgewise?"  No comment.  I'm not sure she even heard me so I guess that answers that.  Are you too afraid to let Him talk because you think He's gonna tell you what a big sinner you are?  That's the wrong voice.  God is not mad at you.  He's not even dissappointed.  He's wildly in love with you and He's really really nice.  But you do have to open up your heart and let Him tear down the walls.  It's not easy and it's probably not convienient.  Leads to having breakdowns on planes.  Might as well switch to waterproof mascara now.  He's worth it.

News Flash! God Does not do Personality Transplants!

I had a rough week.  I got very down on myself and ashamed and couldn't let go of my stupid stuff that I said and did.  It wasn't anything that bad, but my pride got stepped on and I blew the whole thing out of proportion.  My constant prayer was for God to "Fix me" or "Change me."  I didn't say it in prayer, but I kind of had in mind Extreme Makeover: Personality Edition.  This went on for a few days until I guess God had enough and informed me that I was His creation and I am unique and that nobody else can do what I am called to do and that I would not be receiving a personality transplant.  So I got off that kick, sorta, but I knew I was still screwing up and felt like I needed "fixing."

"God, I feel bad!"  I said as I flopped into bed.  Almost immediately (I think) I went into twilight.  Twilight is what I call that place in between awake and asleep where your mind becomes a movie screen and all kinds of crazy stuff goes on.  If you give that over to God, He can use it to show you nifty stuff.  I think the Bible term is trance but that sounds so New-Agey now.  Yeah, I know twilight has it's own connotations but I still like that word.  If anybody has a better word, leave me a comment.

Yeah, so I'm in twilight and I got a little "my week in review" kind of thing happening.  He was showing me all the scenes where I did good.  They were things that I didn't think were anything, just me being me, no biggie, but little things I was doing and saying were making a big difference to other people.  There were some scenes that could've been on my mental movie screen that didn't make the Director's cut.  Good things that I did out of effort, for instance, I went house to house collecting a couple hundred pounds of food for the food bank.  That was right in the time frame of the other stuff He was showing me but He didn't bring it up.  Do you see where He's going with this?  That's the difference between works and fruitfulness.

Then I got a scripture, John 15:4-5. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.  Grape vines don't try real hard and push out grapes.  Fruit just happens because that's it's nature.  When we get born again we get a new nature.  Connection to Jesus makes us fruitful.  Stop trying and just abide.  Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.  Matt 11:28-30  Yes, it is light.  I like the Message Bible's version of that too. "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matt 11:28-30 The Message.  Ahhh, I feel better!

He did show me a place where I dropped the ball.  I was out with friends and I had even prayed beforehand, kind of a whatever you want to do here tonight Lord kind of prayer, and He sent me someone and I didn't pick up on it.  This guy that I don't like showed up and started unloading on me about how his family situation is all messed up, I don't even really know this guy but he chewed me out once so that leads me to believe he doesn't like me either.  But he started talking to me for some reason and I didn't catch on to what God was up to.  I could've offered to pray, said something encouraging but I said "Dude, that sucks." and took off.  Then He showed me the next scene where I had a second chance.  A friend and I went to a town 70 miles away, and things kinda went awry and there was some confusion and I got thirsty so we decided to go to McDonalds and get me a pop.  We opted to go in instead of doing the drive thru which would've been the normal thing.  The guy was in there!  And I still didn't get it.  And then I snapped back out of twilight and thought "Did that really just happen?"  But I don't feel one bit bad.  I feel... corrected.  I know what to do now.  I can still pray.  I can do a drive by and speak peace over his household.  And if I have another opportunity I can talk to him.  And I think I will because so far he's been smiling and waving like we're friends now and if I didn't think it was God, I would think it was eerie. 

How Do You Get Down From Heaven?

 So there have been some questions regarding the Seated With Him in Heavenly Places blog entry, so I'm gonna talk about how that works and hopefully give you a hand up.  One of the questions I got asked was how you get out of there, which I'm finding pretty funny.  "Really?  That's what you're worried about?  Getting stuck in heaven?"  But I said I didn't really know how.  It's not like I whooshed down, or was escorted by angels or anything and I never whooshed up to begin with.  I was just there, which brings it all back around to Ephesians 2:6.  "For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with Him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus." (NLT)  That to me implies a dual citizenship.  We're here, but we're there too.  So if we're saved, our spirit is already up there.  When you wholeheartedly accept Jesus as your savior, you have permanent residence in heaven.  It's not a wait until you're dead kinda thing.  It's now.  Remember we are a trinity also, we are body, soul and spirit.  God is Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  We accept Jesus, the Holy Spirit comes down here with us, our spirit goes up there with Him.  Good deal huh?   In other words, Daddy probably held you while you cried too and you were oblivious.  So to answer the question "How do you get down from heaven?"  You don't.

So the real question is how do you become aware, and that's where your faith + Holy Spirit comes in.  This is very simple because everything in the kingdom of heaven is simple.  You set aside some quality time with God.  I have a much easier time being spiritually aware in the evenings so that's our time.  From the get-go, you need to pray something to the effect of pleading the blood of Jesus over your spiritual eyes, ears and imagination.  Ask to be cleansed of the defilement of the day and confess any known sins.  Then you just trust that whatever you get will be from God because you took care of your junk up front.  You need to do this each time because you want to be a clean vessel for God to work with.  Just in the course of a day you get dirty.  You'll see something on TV that's violent or you'll hear a dirty joke and that's as little as it takes.  I'm not saying you live a sinful life, it's no different than taking your daily shower. 

There was a time when I was soaking, and I had a vision that I knew was not from God and I said "Lord, what am I doing looking at that?"  Instantly Jesus appeared and I pulled my eyeballs out (this was all in the spirit of course) and I tossed 'em over.  He gave them the old spit-and-polish with His sleeve and tossed them back.  I caught them and stuck them back in my head and had no further problems.  At the time I was pretty amused and the being able to see with my eyeballs out of my head was not lost on me, but now scriptures are coming to mind as I write this.  "And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire:" (Mark 9:27) "And he took the blind man by the hand, and led him out of the town; and when he had spit on his eyes, and put his hands upon him, he asked him if he saw ought." (Mark 8:23)

So from there, you just imagine Jesus there with you, and at this point it's all you making it up.  That's ok, it's giving you something right to focus on so your brain is not running off track.  You just visualize Jesus.  Start talking to Him.  Some of us are not used to using our imaginations so you'll be able to see that you have to work at it and that's a good thing, because when the Holy Spirit takes over, you'll notice the difference and you'll know that you're not doing anything.  That's when it gets real. 

I found you guys a free download by Tyler Johnson, who explains all this better than I can, and at the end he prays for you and walks you into a vision.  The sound quality is awful, (probably why it's free) but about 5 minutes in, you'll be so enthralled you won't care.  Click here

Seated with Him in Heavenly Places

I was talking to God about my concerns with my relationship to the church.  Rick Joyner had said that people who don't have a strong local church life often do more damage than good and cause division (read here).  I seem to cause problems merely by showing up, so lately I've stopped doing that.  I'm not disruptive, I sit in the back and I smile at people, but they all know how I believe and get looks of anxiety on their faces when I come through the door.  I've watched a couple friends church hopping and they encounter hostility.  Our reputations proceed us.  I don't wanna keep moving around, wearing out my welcome, or diminishing my faith in order to fit in.  And I respect what Rick is saying and I want to take a look at my situation and not see myself as always the exception to rules that I don't like, but I also don't want to cause problems or make people uncomfortable in their church.

So I'm jabbering all these concerns to God and getting really involved in thinking about this whole dilemma when I gradually become aware that I am sitting sideways on my Father's lap with my head on His chest and He's kinda bouncing His knee a little.  And then church drama no longer mattered.  He loves me.  I may be screwing everything up, I may be so wrong, but my Daddy loves me and cares that I'm upset.  And the church drama does matter, and it matters to Him.  It's just that at that moment, me getting straightened out was not priority number one.  My being secure in His love, my being comforted, took precedence.

So then I really let loose and cried.  And it wasn't about the whole church thing.  I was just melting really, in His love.  Walls were coming down.  I try so hard to get it right and I forget His incredible acceptance.   I can't quit crying.  And stuff like this is exactly why I have trouble fitting in.

Hearing From God Through Dreams

Hearing is such a crucial element in your walk with God, but many Christians I talk to either say they don't hear, or they're unhappy with the level at which they're hearing.  I know I'm never satisfied.  There are a lot of ways that God speaks but I can tell you how I started, which is through dreams.

Most of us are so busy and in environments so full of distractions that God can't get a word in edgewise.  But when you're asleep, you're fair game.

Contrary to popular belief, dreams do not come from pizza and pickles.  They come from three sources; God, Satan and your own soul.  All three sources contain information that you want to have.  You can pray against the Satanic prophesies, soulish dreams reveal the condition of your heart and obviously you want to hear what God has for you.  I believe most if not all of my dreams are from God, but I believe that is so because I value them, I ask for them and I record them.  I never had dreams like these before when I didn't know that I could dream like Joseph or Solomon or Abraham or Jacob.  But God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and He is no respecter of persons.  Any experience you see someone in the Bible having, you can potentially have that.  So how do you have dreams from God?

1. Repent of calling them pizza dreams or whatever tactic you've used to devalue them.  
2. Tell God you want to hear from Him and only Him through your dreams.  Tell Him to wake you up as soon as He gives you one so you can write it down.  
3. When you wake up, go write it down!  That sounds like a no-brainer but when you're groggy and comfy and operating under the delusion that you'll remember in the morning, the prevailing drive is to go back to sleep.  The truth is, you probably won't remember the whole thing, and if you don't care enough to write it down, God will stop bothering you and let you sleep.  He's a nice guy that way.
4. Ask for an interpretation.  Don't try to reason it out right away.  Ask.  Grogginess seems to facilitate hearing.  Don't be discouraged if you don't get an answer right away.  I have interpretations come over a period of days although lots are immediate.  

There is a lot to Christian dream interpretation that is beyond this blog, but study the dreams in the Bible, study the parables and pay attention to symbology whenever you read.  It will help you develop metaphorical thinking skills.  What you don't want to do is use a secular method for interpreting dreams from God.

Some resources that have helped me are Understanding Dreams & Visions and Don't Stop Dreaming, which is a 3 CD teaching for $15. Send an email for more info on that one.  Both are great dream teachings with very little overlap, those will take you a long way.  Barbie Breathitt has some biblically based dream symbol cards that are expensive, but I recommend you at least get the one that explains the meanings of colors, as you'll use that daily.

I volunteer at a dream interpretation site called "Now Interpret This!" You can post your dreams and see what other interpreters think.  It's a good place to learn and practice. 

Related post :  Message from God in a Dream

Valentine's Day

I got a book in the mail on Valentine's Day.  It's called Experiencing the Heavenly Realm and God said it was my Valentine's Day gift from Him.  The book is a collection of visions that Judy Franklin had and reveals God's love and true nature.  He is so in love with us.

It took me right back to my own Jesus experience, mine did not have as much depth as hers, but that's fine because I can keep on pursuing.  (She teaches on how to see.)  My time was no less special or life changing since I've read hers.  In fact, it's made me more confident and expectant.  I am so lovesick all over again.

If you've had all the religion you can handle and you just want Jesus, this book will get you to Him.  If you've already has a personal revelation of God's love, this book will stir that up and encourage you to go deeper.