"God, I feel bad!" I said as I flopped into bed. Almost immediately (I think) I went into twilight. Twilight is what I call that place in between awake and asleep where your mind becomes a movie screen and all kinds of crazy stuff goes on. If you give that over to God, He can use it to show you nifty stuff. I think the Bible term is trance but that sounds so New-Agey now. Yeah, I know twilight has it's own connotations but I still like that word. If anybody has a better word, leave me a comment.
Yeah, so I'm in twilight and I got a little "my week in review" kind of thing happening. He was showing me all the scenes where I did good. They were things that I didn't think were anything, just me being me, no biggie, but little things I was doing and saying were making a big difference to other people. There were some scenes that could've been on my mental movie screen that didn't make the Director's cut. Good things that I did out of effort, for instance, I went house to house collecting a couple hundred pounds of food for the food bank. That was right in the time frame of the other stuff He was showing me but He didn't bring it up. Do you see where He's going with this? That's the difference between works and fruitfulness.
Then I got a scripture, John 15:4-5. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. Grape vines don't try real hard and push out grapes. Fruit just happens because that's it's nature. When we get born again we get a new nature. Connection to Jesus makes us fruitful. Stop trying and just abide. Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matt 11:28-30 Yes, it is light. I like the Message Bible's version of that too. "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matt 11:28-30 The Message. Ahhh, I feel better!
He did show me a place where I dropped the ball. I was out with friends and I had even prayed beforehand, kind of a whatever you want to do here tonight Lord kind of prayer, and He sent me someone and I didn't pick up on it. This guy that I don't like showed up and started unloading on me about how his family situation is all messed up, I don't even really know this guy but he chewed me out once so that leads me to believe he doesn't like me either. But he started talking to me for some reason and I didn't catch on to what God was up to. I could've offered to pray, said something encouraging but I said "Dude, that sucks." and took off. Then He showed me the next scene where I had a second chance. A friend and I went to a town 70 miles away, and things kinda went awry and there was some confusion and I got thirsty so we decided to go to McDonalds and get me a pop. We opted to go in instead of doing the drive thru which would've been the normal thing. The guy was in there! And I still didn't get it. And then I snapped back out of twilight and thought "Did that really just happen?" But I don't feel one bit bad. I feel... corrected. I know what to do now. I can still pray. I can do a drive by and speak peace over his household. And if I have another opportunity I can talk to him. And I think I will because so far he's been smiling and waving like we're friends now and if I didn't think it was God, I would think it was eerie.