Old issues started surfacing next. I became very aware that they were driving my behavior, and that I was not living healthy today because of what happened yesterday. One dream I had was nothing more than a review of my day, watching from a third person perspective. I watched something happen and how I overreacted to a small annoyance and then was taken back to what happened when I was younger that created a wound that caused my overreaction that day and many other days.
So this cause and present day effect went on for a couple weeks, and yeah, it was not fun. I was crying everyday, at inappropriate places and times like all day at work. All this stuff was coming up and being relived and fresh and raw and open. I had thought from the dream it would be more like ripping off a bandaid than picking at scabs.
What worked, was by a stroke of perfect timing, I got Jim Richard's "Change Your Heart, Change Your World" cd's in the mail. I get a surprise goodie box once a month also, with the expectation that I will share all this stuff with others via our Friday night "Holy Spirit" meetings. Everything came in the mail at once, maybe I had to feel good and terrible to be motivated to go through these resources. I kept ripping open packages and going "Yay! I need this!" I'm still working through the books "Unbound" and "Finally Free", but I started listening to the cd's and knew that they were jiving perfectly with the way things were being revealed. I actually went through these with family and it was helpful to talk about things that happened. My perspective of what happened was not necessarily accurate. Just one more way that the truth can set you free.
So Jim is on Sid Roth now, so I don't have to explain how all this works. Watch the video. Dr. Jim Richards - Sid Roth - It's Supernatural. Here's a link to the prayer that is the crux of the whole thing. Basically, whenever you have a negative emotion come up, you stop then and there (that means you keep it with you) and you go through it. You do need to be very intentional about every word you say, or it becomes just another religious exercise. I added some things to it, it's fully customizable :)
After about two days of staying on this, and stopping numerous times a day to pull out the prayer, I was feeling pretty good. My back and neck pain had left and I've known for years that there's no point in going to the chiropractor until I get my relationships sorted out. And I was having less and less issues come up. A day with no anger, no hurt, no insecurity. It happened.
All the previous dreaming and crying had taken a tole though and I was worn out. I came home from work, flopped down on my bed still in uniform and promptly went into visions. The one that I remember was Jesus coming and and picking me up and carrying me into a raging fire. First I was happy about it. Then I thought, "This is probably gonna suck, but I trust Him." I had the third person perspective again, watching from the bed as I saw my hair catch fire and then I disappeared into the flames. Hair in dreams can represent our attitudes and mindsets. Then I remembered what I added to that prayer. "I ask you to come Lord, All Consuming Fire, and burn away any residue, any seeds, implantations or any fruit, that there would be no trace left of this feeling in my life.