Last night I decided to go back there and get some resolution. Engaging the process of going to heaven happens through the sanctified imagination. God can do His sovereign thing and get you there, my first time was a surprise, but we can also go boldly before the Throne of Grace. You've already been invited. For me, I have to start off with something I can visualize, for instance picking up where I was last time. Starting is usually a little rough, but eventually the daydream takes on a life of its own and when you get surprised, that's when you know you're not making it up.
I did get to go sit with Jesus though, well, I thought "with", but as it turned out, "in." That's how the scripture goes right? Seated in heavenly places IN Christ Jesus? I never knew how that worked before. You just sit down and merge. I was sitting like you would sit on someone's lap, expect instead of on top, I just assimilated in. And that was new, so I spent some time moving in and out of Jesus, cause it was weird, and cool. Lean back, I'm in, lean forward, I'm out. In... Out... In... You can totally be a little kid in heaven. In fact, it's kinda mandatory. (Matt 18:3) I was focusing on what it felt like when I was in vs out. Got done playing and settled in and stayed because I could feel stuff coming off of me when I was in. "This must be what He meant with all that 'resting' and 'abiding' stuff."
His hands were still his hands and my hands were still my hands, and I was checking out his hands. They are kinda thin flat guy hands. Nice hands, but just hands. The scars are up at the wrists. Then he took hold of my hand and put it up over his heart, which was my heart too and then I realized they were merged. Wow. Really? One heartbeat. Whoa. Pause for cry session. I decide that is a good place to leave spirit me parked while I run around and do stuff down here. I know you guys are all saying "Duh", but yeah, I really didn't get it before. Its just words on a page until it becomes my experience.
I'm in the middle of writing a book and have so far had a lot to say about the heart, beliefs of the heart etc. I'm still processing the depth of my experience. And at the moment, I can't process anything, so I'm simply going to hit "publish" and go get some rest.